


Of facts and beliefs, Of science and virtues

by Hari_mao



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 15:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6382666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hari_mao/pseuds/Hari_mao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes----there are things we can't seem to understand and factual explanations can't be of help, that goes as well with the unknown. A balance is needed---but how can one achieve it having two extremes?<br/>Soldiers with needs, simple minded solutions; a believer, a lover, a fighter,a preacher--what will you be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of facts and beliefs, Of science and virtues

**Author's Note:**

> This is a first for me so please be kind. TT_TT I have this idea in my mind for the longest time and I've never had the guts to type---more like how to arrange my thoughts and ideas in an organized way to properly tell this story that just kept on repeating on my head. Anyway--let's just see what will happen to me--and to Levi and Hanji. *tears* ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )
> 
> P.S. This will definitely travel down the mature road as we get along so better warn as early as possible.

_Two words that are often misused too often by everyone---and right now I can't decide which one I should consider him as..._

 

As the barracks at the far west end of Wall Rose goes into a slumber---one woman in particular would dare not sleep nor stop her thoughts from going on and on. Her figure slumped on her chair and her eyes blankly staring at the ceiling of her well lit room. Being one of the legions greatest soldiers is truly beneficial and at times, a gift regardless of their situation. In here, she can still eat, drink, breathe---- and of course, experiment. Experimentation, the greatest method of testing a hypothesis may it be of a positive or a negative result.

                Yet, right now, words are losing her and a haze is forming in her thoughts. Her mind, which can always find solutions and gaps on reasoning can't even find one and the cause of all this problem is not proving of any factual proof. A lump is forming on her chest---is that even of sense? As her hand shakily crawled onto her heaving chest----a growing lump---an ache, an obstruction--is it? But what is it? A reaction every time she sees him, his eyes, his form. Some people she asked for answers can't even properly explain what is it (more like she can't properly describe it) and researching on books is a hopeless endeavour.

 

                _......Love......_

 

She smirked blandly, her languid eyes stayed as emotionless as they are---looking for answers---more like prayers, though she can't remember any of it now, rather, she sees it as a pointless case. She remembered how her mother patiently repeated every prayer in that thick book displayed at an open cupboard at the middle of their house when she was young. How much she controlled herself not to burn that book which cost too much confusion in her growing, inquisitive mind who'd rather depend on factual concepts with proof and visual representations than believe in something of the unknown. Everything in this world should be of factual proof---but now...what is this?

                She remembered when it all started, the usual banters, the usual talks--the brawls and nonsensical rants, when did they turn to be of significance? A whiff of his scent, a smirk on his lips, a grunt, a retort; the exhilaration...she can't describe.

                But that night wasn't of exhilaration--all she can remember was the bitter taste of cold tea on her lips and the growing lump on her chest numbing her senses. He is human--with needs, and those needs weren't the need that can be satisfied by mere company. He needs relief---a shake to this torn world they are in, a small gratification for a job he didn't even want in the first place, but is the right choice.

                Her sight, slowly getting blurry, was she tired? Sitting up properly on her chair looking down at all the notes scattered around her room. A liquid started to trickle down her cheeks, stopping at her chin--- her fingers wiping it off and she, inspecting it by the candle light..

                "Wet...." Her eyes landing at the window in front of her...

 

                ..... _Tears...._

 

Questions, a lot of questions she'd rather not look for answers anymore. Her mind is too preoccupied over a lot of things right now--and these things, should be ignored, forgotten and buried forever.

_Humanity----humanity must be saved_

_The titans---they should be constantly observed, experimented on--talk to..._

_New strategies...I MUST think of new strategies, new machines---ANYTHING._

_ANYTHING...anything....I need to. I have to._

As her hands slowly combs her hair up to her nape--her locks in a mess--of frustration, of anger. Her body trembling, the rush of emotions--of terror, of possible repercussions if she won't even solve this case.

But---a soldier she is, and a soldier she will be. She can't let him be a venom that shoots through her veins like fangs every contact----nor the poison she will inhale (and freely drown herself into) every time her senses will betray her. There is a cure for this madness...she know she'll find it, if there is none---tolerance, tolerance must be employed.  

_You live up to your name Hanji Zoe, mad and crazy, as always._

               

 


End file.
